It’s Arrived – YOUR Sneak Preview of “Dealing with Difficult People”
As promised, all those who registered as subscribers to this blog by Sunday the 4th of March 2012 now have access to the sneak preview of my next book. But it is for subscribers only so when you download it, you will need to enter the password I emailed you if you subscribed by the deadline.
As I’ve said previously,this latest book is a totally new concept. So what I need is your feedback. Remember, it’s for subscribers only so you’ll have to enter the password I sent you in the email when this post went up, in order to open the file. You can save the file to read it later (you’ll sill need the password to open it).
On the last page is a list of questions that I’d ask you to consider, and a button to bring you back to this post, so that you can leave your comments below. Can I ask you please to post your comments by Monday the 12th of March. I have no doubt that your input will play a huge role in making this a book that will impact many more lives. Enjoy the read and thanks (heaps!) for your help.
Thank you all so much for the time that you’ve taken to review the 1st chapter of my next book. I really appreciate it. Not just those who poster their comments on the blog, but also the many who sent me their reviews by email.
Your comments clearly reflect that you’ve given a lot of time and thought to the task.
I have no doubt that as I mull over your input as I prepare to write the remainder of the book over the next couple of months, your efforts will have a he impact not only on the book itself, but in the lives of those who read it and in the lives of those who come into contact with those who read it.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Berni this is going to be the sort of book everyone will need in their library. I think most people have a difficult person in their life and this will be the ‘text’ book on how to handle the situation. ‘Me’ to ‘we’ is very Biblical but won’t frighten non-Christians off. Great phrase and going to be a great book. Congratulations! God bless, Ruth
1. The look and feel is attractive and draws the attention of the reader.
2. On the whole, yes
3. I found it easy to read
4. 8 out of 10
5. I think this is helpful and makes it easier to absorb what is said
6. This could vary from person to person but I think it’s written in such a way that most people would at least give it a fair hearing even if they didn’t agree with all its sentiments
7. Difficult to answer at this early stage – it does leave me wanting more though
8. Situations where 2 Christians are seen to disagree in view of a non-Christian audience
9. As I said above, I want to read more and look forward to the rest of the book
Very easy format to read. Liked the 3 section part of it. Great topic as so many people have challenges with others in their family or workplace.
Will be interested to read the final product. Well done.
I love the way your eBook is laid out. It made it easy to read! The 3 part style of each chapter was good and having an example like a case study helped to illustrate your point well.
There were only 3 of the 12 strategies (mentioned on the front cover) in the preview but I guess you’re still writing the rest.
It’s good how you mentioned Jesus in Chapter 1 because he had a lot of experience dealing with difficult people such as the Pharisees. Non-Christians would probably get a lot out of this book too because your book isn’t specifically Christian and the strategies would help anyone.
Thanks so much for letting us read a preview of your upcoming book. It’s such a relevant, useful topic! I look forward to reading the whole book when it comes out! God bless you!
Thank you for the priviledge of reading your 1st chapter. This print could be darker, to facilitate reading it. I would like to be able to print off the questions, instead of hand writing them.
1. The firey orange-red boxing gloves confirms in my mind that the writer means business. I do not think you are advocating violence or force as a solution. The white printed “guaranteed” caught my eye. Your 1st statement states a goal each one of us wants to attain, eg. “ENJOY LIFE”.
Your next paragraph expresses the reason you are writing this book. There is a real need. Most of us have to deal with people each day that sap the joy out of our lives, they can also make us lose our focus on God. I am pleased you stated that this is from a Christian viewpoint.
How to get the Most Out of This Book.
This is well written and the red print emphasises the words that we need to focus on, both our right and left brain hemispheres are alerted.
Bankrupt account is easy to relate to. I inferred what is missing is JOY, because the emotions that followed were devoid of it.
POWERFUL Strategy #1 From me … to we
The recurring boxing gloves gives the reader the idea that each strategy relates to the others. I think I would bold the “me”. The “my” in italics emphasises nicely. This “me” importance is drummed into our subconscious and conscious,eg. You’re worth it! You deserve it! You owe it to yourself! I like having questions posed to the reader. This involves us more.
Page 11, really involves the reader. Essential to success is shifting the perspective from me… to we. If you are prepared to do this you are on your way to resolving the problem.
Presently, I do not have any difficult people to deal with. I have a 90 year old friend, whose neighbour is pouring salt on her rose bushes at night to kill them. I asked her what dealings she has had with him in the past. She says he wants her to move out. She gave him her exercise bike, hoping he would act neighbourly towards her, but it hasn’t helped.
I have 2 Christian friends, that have to deal with a women, who comes to our church services and the morning teas, that follow. She demands each one of my friends to kiss her at least 6 times on the cheek or lips before she allows each to drink her cup of tea. They feel Jesus wants us to love the unloveable and feel they must agree to her demands. This woman interrupts any conversation they are having with other people to demand more kisses or to ask for a lift to the shops. It does not matter to her if they were not going shopping, she would expect them to drive her and wait to drive her home again. Yes, this woman has mental health issues.
I want to help my 3 friends and I have been praying that the neighbour would act neighbourly to my elderly friend. God sent rain at night, which helped dilute some of the damage. Some nights he doesn’t venture out.
I don’t know what action my friends can do in the above situations to convey that they have changed their attitudes.
2. I am not sure.
5. I like this 3-part style. It involves the reader.
6. I don’t know. I am interested in a Christian viewpoint myself.
7. Just 2 words after proof reading.
On page 7 insert the word “to” between prepared and live
On page 9 replace patently with blatantly obvious
8. Power struggles
9. I am looking forward to reading more, and finding answers to the above situations.
The chapter was easy to read with an effective format. It effectively challenges you, presents a solution and then gives practical suggestions for action-steps to bring about transformation not just information – love that.
It was not overly in your face regarding Christian content, but stuck to biblical foundations.
If there is one thing I would consider it would be how a person in an abusive relationship would respond. “Would they feel a sense of guilt because they haven’t done enough, or been too selfish?” I think an exclusive phrase regarding abuse may be helpful to simply indicate that some difficult relationships are more complex and out of our control.
finally, I found four grammatical mistakes, not sure if you are looking for them at this stage. eg. page7 column 1 line 4 from bottom needs the word “to” put in after the word “prepared”. p7 column 1 line 3 from bottom has two “that”s.
Great format, easy to read and understand. Of course you are writing from a Christian perspective, of course you are going to mention Jesus, but you have done so without forcing religion, just linking life with a biblical basis. Well done!
Ps this light blue writing in the response section is very hard on the eyes!
Here is my 2c of help:
1.What do you think of the look, feel & style of the eBook?
It looks modern and ‘cool’. Easy to read and visually appealing. The red colours in contrast with the white background are a very interesting choice.
2.Does Chapter 1 meet up to the promise on the front cover?
Cover says: guaranteed to improve … yet to test.
3.Is the book easy to read?
4.On a scale of 0 to 10, what did you get out of it? 8
5.What do you think of the 3 part style of each chapter in helping people apply the teaching?
It is a great idea: not only highlights the problem, but also suggests a solution, and encourages readers to apply it. It is good way to help readers.
6.How do you think row book would go with a non–Christian reader?
The ‘Christianeese’ in C1 is very light … the only reference to Jesus as a ‘prophet’ or wise man can easily be digested by non–Christian reader (it doesn’t even mention the Bible or the references …)
I am just not sure if the purpose of the book is to help readers to deal with difficult people from a general pool of wise tips, or to show a Christ based perspective to deal with people, or a light mix of both … definitely not evangelisation.
7.What would you change about the book?
a) I would add a quick summary of the main ideas in the chapter at the end. i.e.:
From me … to we
1. Our current perspective is the problem.
2. A fresh perspective is the solution (a “different perspective”?).
3. The change we have the power to do now is to shift our perspective.
b) In the task section, add a little list with checkboxes, so readers can print and carry in their wallets, or task list, to work on over the week. i.e.:
Identify your top 3 difficult people
Give the pain a name
Understand the cause
Make the shift
Live the shift
8.What would you like Chapters 2 to 12 to address (feel free to make Chapter heading suggestions!)
• How to see someone else’s perspective
• How to listen to others
• How to forgive and let go
• Getting help from others
• How to find peace in struggle
• Love your enemies: how to treat the other person with respect and “love” them.
• How to guard my thoughts (anger, hate, bitterness).
• Treating others as you would like to be treated.
• “If Mohammed will not go to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohammed”
• Look for the lessons.
9.Do you have any other comments or suggestions
Thanks for the opportunity! Great book, great new format and style. Go ahead!
I would like to know what platforms do you intent to use as eBooks (e.g. kindle, Apple iBooks, PDF, EPUB, mobile?
God Speed your day!
Had a quick read Berni!
1. Like the style. Guess when it is available to purchase you can print if you want – can’t now which I understand.
2. Good first chapter. Don’t agree with page 9, under A Right to Exist, first para. Just finished 12 hour CD Biography of Jerusalem.
3. Yep, easy to read.
5. Good workbook style.
6. Should go
7. mmmh, don’t know at this point. Perhaps asking for 3 difficult people. Perhaps just one and work on that one!
Look and feel is great like a workbook/manual. chapter 1 meets objective. Yes book easy to read in simple English and everyday logic. I got 9.5 out of chapter 1. I loved three part style and explanation in the intro. The book would be a stretch with the non-christian reader the page 7 bible insert may offend non-christians and especially those who are in the me-me-me mode because they dont think they are wrong or “sinners”. I know my husband would not have read past that. I would love to see an example of the task completed. Pick something simple like a noisy neighbour or bossy boss and show an example, people relate well to “let me show you an example”. I love how you said from the beginning, its not going to be easy. Chapter suggestions: We all give our best friend good advice whether they will like it or not due to our trusting relationship, be our own best friend, for Christians. Christ is our best friend, for non-christians, a wise aunty or uncle, grandparent, elder or teacher, what would they advise in this situation? ………….. youre on the right track Bernie!… i love your love for life and Christ!! I love the way you speak and write, so realistically without blame or shame or pushy, just thought provoking, heart felt and faith strengthening! GOD works wonders through you!
Sheryl, thanks for the encouragement and your thoughtful reply. Some good stuff in there for me to chew over. 🙂
Reading the first chapter got me really excited. The format is great and it is easy to follow, it is like being part of a conversation with you. It immediately got me thinking of issues I have with several people. It is so easy to see myself as the centre of the universe. Over the next couple of days I will continue to consider what I have read. Please continue with the layout as it is very easy to follow.